Volume 3 Chapter 3
What’s this? Am I that person in the scene?
The scene played once again in his mind.
Yes, that’s absolutely me, but… For some reason, I don’t feel like we’re the same person…
Witsen’s memories began to tangle up.
Didn’t I get transported to this unknown continent? Or did I belong to this world from the beginning? That means… my memories from the urban world were all fake? Impossible! My memories…
He questioned the scenes in his mind again and again, but they just felt so real, even more so than his memories of his hometown. Every word, every sentence, the tone, even the emotions; they were as clear as day. The sincereness when begging the god, his annoyed feeling when he had no choice but to request the usage of the disk, he felt it all.
All of a sudden, Witsen had a striking realisation: there was this unknown feeling residing in him when he challenged the god to a bet. He did not notice it in the beginning, but then the feeling of affection overwhelmed him and even drowned out all other emotions. It was his affection for that person that he had begged sincerely to the god.
Why did he have to save the world? Why should he try to defend against the invaders that even the world’s creator could not defeat? He was not someone who would do something grand such as saving the world. However, if so, why did he willingly undergo the trial? Just why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
“Witsen!” Karile shook his shoulders and turned him towards herself. “Look at me! Witsen! Look at me!”
Within his blank eyes were signs of fear and confusion. As though his soul had been reaped by the god of death, Witsen just sat there like a puppet.
“Right, it’s me. Calm down, okay?”
Currently, Witsen’s soul was falling into the abyss. Countless sealed memories were released one after another. Light and faith gradually left him, replaced by an endless darkness that could enshroud the entire world. Over five hundred times—he had gone through this cycle and met Karile for over five hundred times already. The memory wipe he underwent every time he failed the trial was eroding his ego.
“I’ll do it again.”
“Are you still not admitting defeat? It’s already been two hundred times.”
“I know. This time, you don’t have to keep my memories. The disk will only acknowledge someone who discards everything he owned.”
“Very well, I’ll do as you wish. Enter.”
The reason he requested the god to wipe his memories was because he thought he realised what the Norns wanted—nothingness. It was the answer, but his comprehension of it was not the right one. He thought the disk would acknowledge him if he discarded everything, but the result was obvious enough. He failed.
One time after another, he entered the disk to undergo the trial. Soon, he forgot about the reason why he tried to gain the Norns’ powers. At some point, he could not even tell that the world inside the disk was not the real one. In order to fill the blank spaces in his memory, his mind fabricated his current identity. That was the truth behind the adventurer who thought he had come from another world.
“Despite your mean attitude, you’re actually quite the softie,” Witsen once said to the god. He knew that the god would interfere with what happened in the disk to help him from the start.
“‘Mauss’ doesn’t have a good ring to it, how about we change it to Karile?”
“Karile’s not bad, it suits you. Then what about Mauss?”
“Mauss, huh,” The god, no, goddess Karile took out a piece of obsidian that had an engravement and said. “This is the symbol Omega. Mhm, let’s name this stone Mauss.”
“Truth be told, I thought you were a god all along.”
“What, do you have anything against me being a goddess?”
“No, no, I wouldn’t dare to. It’s just that the voice you use to disguise your identity has quite the dignity that I thought you were a male god.”
“Having a dignified voice is befitting a deity, no?”
“Hm? Why are you staring at me?”
“Such beauty… It puts my mind at ease.”
“Aren’t deities supposed to be like this?”
“Yeah, but I still quite like it nonetheless.”
“What are you blabbering about? Just head back in already!”
The light that had been pushed aside by the overwhelming darkness surged from the horizon and regained its rightful position. Witsen ran and reached out for the light—the memory of his first encounter with Karile. All previous memories returned to their owner the moment Witsen came into contact with the light. The ‘true’ Witsen had finally returned.
“Such beauty… It puts my mind at ease,” Witsen said as he looked at the worried Karile. The fear and confusion in his eyes cleared up, and tears filled his eyes to the brim.
“Is that so…”
Karile was startled at first, but she quickly realised that it was the same thing he said to her when they first met. The floodgates holding her emotions and tears in had been demolished, and she could feel her affection for him surging from the bottom of her heart. Ignoring the waterfall of tears running down her cheeks, she answered, “Aren’t… deities supposed to be like this?”
“Yeah, but I still quite like it nonetheless.”
“I’m really glad you like it… Welcome back, Witsen.”
“Right, I’m finally back.”